now, amy is one of my biggest idols in life and currently i am trying to be like her. like her, she spiraled downwards, engulfed in the worlds of drugs and alcohol. today is the anniversary of her death last year - a death that for me changed my perspective. because for me, amy is an angel.
the following is a terrible letter if not tribute to the beautiful legend that is amy winehouse and i apologise for my drug infused rambling.
DEAR AMY,
Since I listened to Rehab, I realized you were different, that you were talented. You said we should be proud of not fitting in because it means that you got something, that you are different. I’ve learnt a lot from you and with you. And I mean A LOT. Your music, your style and personality.Your music gave me the escape I’ve always wanted to find. Your music is the music my soul plays and my brain listen and my heart feels. Your style makes me understand how to express my personality through my look and appearence. I always wear makeup. EVERYDAY. Because, the more insecure I feel, the thicker my makeup has to be. And then, I saw that interview when you said the same thing, but about your hair. I understand that feeling completely, d’you know what I mean?And those self-harming feelings that you had… Well, I’m a bit autodistructive too, so, I think I understand you a lot.
20th. July: Your last performance on stage. I knew you were as alive as you’ve ever been. You were so happy those days. It was an especial day for me too. And it’s always going to be because it the first time I felt happy in my birthday, really happy. That day was the first time I was happy with myself.
23th July: I believe in you. I always believe. And forever believe in you. I’ll never forget you.
My tears dry with your music, angel. When I listen to you I know I can escape.You give me strength and you give me escape. You helped me a lot.
So thank you,
love G x
